Today is Friday and I wake up the same way I always do with the alarm telling me it's time for me to get up and fulfill my one mission in life - to treat you, my husband, like human shit. Not dog shit because that would be too kind... but literally like human shit.
You should feel honored I am treating any type of way at all. I am way too hot for you and I threaten to leave you multiple times a day because you are such a fucking idiot. You can't do anything right and apparently you have some brain trauma because you are slow....like a sloth is faster than you.
I had to pee - I went downstairs to the basement and in a dimly lit corner; huddled in a small rusted cage. You look happy to see me in that dumb animal way...like you worship me...it irritates me. It makes me angry that you acknowledge my existence.
My phone rings and I check to see who it is. My massive mood change lets you know that it's him. I look right at you, "Hello, handsome... I was just thinking of you."
I talked to my beautiful boyfriend for several minutes. You looked pathetic in the cage... as he and I plan to have an amazing evening of glitz and passionate sex.
"Good news, you little fucking piece of shit!" I say as I approach your feeding area. Hike up my robe and piss in your bowl. " You are going to get to go outside today. You will assist me, you dumb fuck. I want you to help me shop for my date tonight with Armando. He is taking me out on the town and then we are going to fuck each other's brains out."
It has taken me months to train you not to look at me and even longer to get you to shut the fuck up unless I give you permission. I let you out of your cage and, without a word, you walk to the guest bedroom shower and clean up for a full day.
Our car arrives, and you sit in the back. I sit up front and flirt mercilessly with Jason, my cute Uber driver. He looks nervously back at you in the rear-view mirror but I tell him you are my gay assistant who secretly likes little boys, but isn't man enough to do anything about it.
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